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The art of the handshake if youre doing it like Trump youre

first_img 25 Jun 2018 17:34 WordChazer The art of the handshake: if you’re doing it like Trump, you’re doing it wrong Just be glad he grabbed your hand and not your pussy. RonaltFrump Reply | Pick Email (optional) 9 10 Share on Facebook Reply Report A firm handshake, once down and up, at arms length is sufficient.Anyone tries to hug me, I swear it, I’ll do time. 12 13 Play VideoPlayCurrent Time 0:00/Duration Time 1:14Loaded: 0%Progress: 0%FullscreenMuteThis is a modal window. Share Twitter Since you’re here… I hate to defend Trump in anything, but he clearly doesn’t have much else going for him so surely we shouldn’t write off his handshaking skills as not counting for something? Facebook Share on Twitter 17 18 Reply Share on Facebook Facebook Share on Facebook | Pick Report asparagusnextleft Report Share on WhatsApp Buscar01 pablo uno comments (339)Sign in or create your Guardian account to join the discussion. Facebook 5 oldest Reply Twitter Share 22 23 Share on Twitter This comment works with ‘hand’ redacted too. We talkin bout Obama again, now? @whatsamadder gannoni Carl123 13 14 Share Share on Twitter Twitter Share on Twitter Report asparagusnextleft 25 Jun 2018 14:23 | Pick Report Share Report | Pick unthreaded Opinion 25 Jun 2018 14:47 | Pick Share on Twitter DNHig9 Share on Twitter 25 Jun 2018 14:44 24 25 He has trouble holding quite a few things actually. Among them: knives, forks, spoons, pens, proper medicals, international conferences, friendships, wives… And no doubt small things he claims are bigger. In fact almost anything he can’t grab. Share on Twitter | Pick Facebook My opinion is, if you’re doing pretty much anything like Trump, you’re probably doing it wrong. 1 How is that unpredictable? He likes Abo and can’t stand Merkel. It’s as predictable as can be. 28 29 Report Report asparagusnextleft Reply Share on Twitter happylittledebunkera | Pick Yohdur | Pick Share on Twitter Share Twitter Facebook Reply happylittledebunkera UnashamedPedant Share on Facebook My pet peeve regarding handshakes comes in restaurants or dinner parties. I’ve just washed my hands to prepare to eat when some bozo wants ot shake hands and smear his noxious bacteria all over my clean hand. Now I have to go wash up again. Maybe I’m overthinking this … Share on Twitter Reply 11 12 45 46 feelinglow Share on Twitter Once, it was a sign of peace. Now the child-catcher in chief is turning it into a weapon | Pick HistoryHacker Facebook 25 Jun 2018 13:43 Reply hidgeon Facebook Share FloridaAuthor Facebook Reply Twitter TheTermagent Share collapsed I take it by red wave you mean a GOP wave? Sorry to have to tell you this but the GOP is doomed. All the demographic change is flowing in favour of democrats, young people largely despise and abhor GOP politics, atheism is the fastest growing religious position in the US, non white voters are increasing at a far greater rate than southern white voters who prop up the GOP and lastly the cities are begining to loathe the power people-less empty inland states have over the population centres of the US. There is a change coming but its not the GOP who’ll benefit. In the long run that party will either need to split into fiscal conservatives and evangelical nutters or be doomed. Share on LinkedIn Reply Laurence Bury Share on Facebook 25 Jun 2018 17:41 25 Jun 2018 14:09 Facebook Sorry there was an error. Please try again later. If the problem persists, please contact Userhelp Twitter | Pick Shares5050 captainbeefheart OhIAmSuchASadGit Opinion 25 Jun 2018 17:09 25 Jun 2018 14:30 Reply Report Share 2 Come on, old boy. We can’t talk about shameless corruption, sucking up tyrants and caging children all the time. Allow us some light relief. Share on Facebook Yohdur Report Share on Twitter captainbeefheart Share Facebook Just look at the Japanese Prime Minister’s eyes after the hand assault: “for goodness sake*, grow up”, would be one reading.*one for pun spotters https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sake | Pick 25 Jun 2018 14:58 edwardcr Reply Share Who Trudeau’s? Share on Twitter | Pick edwardcr Facebook Trump. He go into the habit because he normally grabs pussies. 36 37 Reply Andreez Report Report Twitter Facebook Twitter Trump always looks like he’s trying to yank the other fella off his feet. creepy bastard. Share on Facebook Twitter Report Jack Briggs Twitter | Pick Share UnashamedPedant Facebook expanded Share on Facebook Oh boy, did the the left already run our of steam again? Going back to handshakes… Again….. Desperation. Red wave coming. Share on Facebook Share Reply Twitter Facebook marchino61 Offer her a deal on Trump-branding Buck House, I expect. Would be beautiful. Just beautiful. Share via Email Share on Twitter Laurence Bury Share on Twitter 25 Jun 2018 14:12 Twitter Report Report Please select Personal abuse Off topic Legal issue Trolling Hate speech Offensive/Threatening language Copyright Spam Other Report 4 3 Share on Facebook dynamic22 comment 25 Jun 2018 14:45 115 116 Report Share on Twitter Share I A GibsonL5 | Pick Share on Facebook A wide grin of pleasure probably, followed by an introduction to a like minded group of other alleged sex offenders. Share on Facebook Facebook 25 Jun 2018 17:40 Facebook Share on Facebook Twitter The strong grip of the master mason, aka the lions paw? | Pick Facebook GibsonL5 25 Jun 2018 15:01 13 14 Facebook Twitter 2 3 25 Jun 2018 17:42 Share Report Share Carl123 Twitter Share GibsonL5 …and it’s never been “a great left wing newspaper”, left-leaning maybe [in the past], classic ‘liberal’ [small L] mainly; recently turned more ‘centrist’ [i.e. on the right]. 25 Jun 2018 15:43 Share on Twitter Share on Twitter Share | Pick Facebook racey1978 Twitter Twitter Report | Pick GibsonL5 25 Jun 2018 17:24 Share on Facebook Share on Facebook Reply | Pick 5 6 Facebook Share Twitter Share Twitter FloridaAuthor Reply Share on Facebook Reply Twitter Facebook Share on Facebook Twitter Twitter Show 7 more replies Share on Twitter | Pick Share on Twitter But it does show how pathetic he is. Like a little child who won’t talk to his friend. It’s politics not nursery, although trump has a better understanding of nursery (I’d hope so anyway). Facebook | Pick Share 72 73 Share on Facebook pablo uno Share on Twitter Facebook Share on Twitter 31 32 Facebook Show 3 more replies Twitter Reply Share asparagusnextleft Share Report 12 13 Share | Pick Report FloridaAuthor Twitter | Pick 25 Jun 2018 14:26 149222 Report 25 Jun 2018 14:39 RonaltFrump UnashamedPedant Ah, finally I know what Buscar01 was going for. Thanks. Facebook Twitter Facebook I have a feeling I breathe like Trump. Should I stop? Share Report Report Report 25 25 Jun 2018 14:03 RonaltFrump | Pick Share on Twitter Facebook Very much depends where you are doing it at all. A firm grip and prolonged eye contact might be an expression of personal self confidence and individuality to an American (traits valued in their society) but they might easily be interpreted as an unwelcome attempt at personal dominance, even aggression, elsewhere. In Trump’s case that is blatantly what they are of course but no one now expects even civility, let alone manners or sensitivity, from such a vulgarian. But even in less obvious cases, never assume that the handshake style prevalent in your culture means the same thing in others. “…He was one of those guys that think they’re being a pansy if they don’t crush around forty of your fingers. God, how I hate that stuff!… “ (Holden Caulfield; The Catcher in the Rye) Firm, gentle squeeze and quick release is all that is required. Remember what Yosser Hughes’ response to ‘Shake Hands’ was and learn. Donald Trump’s strange handshake style and how Justin Trudeau beat it Report | Pick Report Next Thursday is national handshake day, in the US at least – a day no one observes, or if they do, no one notices. Handshakes are boring, right? Men in suits, sealing a deal. Politicians playing for the camera. The escape hatch of awkward Britons, unsure whether two kisses are called for, or a kiss and a hug, and then bottling it altogether. Who cares? I’ll tell you – I care. As a teen, my social goals revolved around attaining an elaborately choreographed, best friends’ handshake – practised yet insouciant, a finger-slapping, synchronous back and forth with over-the-shoulder detail, and explosive sound effects. It is still all I want, and I have widened the remit to include it in my relationship and career goals, too.Originally, the handshake was a greeting that allowed parties to check no one had a dagger up their sleeve. (Imagine life in the old days: “Great to see you! You’re not going to stab me, are you? Let’s drink, and slosh wine between our cups, to check we’re not trying to poison each other. Nice to catch up.”) The latest research suggests handshaking is a way to assess sexual compatibility and competition, as we frequently sniff our hands after shaking. I think I would find a dagger less unsettling.The future looks dark for the handshake, too. It has been co-opted as a display of dominance in business. I think self-consciously “strong” handshakes are creepy. Are receivers meant to be impressed, confused into believing they are meeting Optimus Prime? Yet there are hundreds of articles on the art of “power shakes”. Place your hand palm down over your opponent’s, so they are forced into the submissive position. For photographs, stand on the left, so your right arm crosses your body, accentuating the bicep. Tips on the double palm grasp, when to encroach the wrist. Footwork, strength and length. Study the rules, win the game. The game of saying hello.The nuclear display of this arseholery belongs, of course, to the US’s child-catcher in chief. Watching Donald Trump shake hands with heads of state is to witness the worst of the handshake. The unbalancing yank, the patronising pat. He is unpredictable, too – shaking with Japan’s Shinzō Abe for 19 hideous seconds, but refusing Angela Merkel’s offer entirely. On a tour of the White House, he held Theresa May’s hand as if showing her a crab in a rock pool. I admit to enjoying the countertactics leaders use. Boxing-trained Justin Trudeau holds Trump’s shoulder, to crush his yank-nonsense. Gritty little Emmanuel Macron digs in, pumping harder and longer until all their teeth fall out. (They went to 30 seconds on Bastille Day, before going in for another round. Not quite Thriller in Manila, but possibly the Embarrass at Paris.) India’s prime minister Modi nestles in for a daddy bear hug, a disorienting move of his own. This is my primary engagement with politics now. To be fair, I think it’s Donald’s, too.If there is anything notable about your own technique, you’re doing it wrong. Maybe the best handshake involves no contact. Last week’s world handshake day – not to be confused with national handshake day – is a different idea. Everyone who can puts their hand in the sea, or a sea-bound river, as a way of connecting with others doing the same across the world. Wishy-washy to some, but I like it. Equality and goodwill are what handshakes symbolise, and what they should feel like. Feels as if we are running low on both. SpenderCGB 25 Jun 2018 14:17 25 Jun 2018 15:42 Share on Twitter Threads collapsed Twitter 25 Jun 2018 15:17 You must be new to Guardian Comment. Report Referencing BTL (see example below). Fair comment, I think. Last modified on Fri 3 Aug 2018 10.42 EDT Twitter | Pick I guess you don’t read it for Panama PapersGulf War oppositionSnowden leaks To name but three. 7 8 Share via Email Twitter Twitter Twitter Reply 70 71 Facebook Reply Support The Guardian Reply 25 Jun 2018 17:43 hidgeon 25 Jun 2018 14:48 37 38 | Pick Facebook RonaltFrump Or better – a smack on the face Share on Facebook Share on Twitter GibsonL5 Share on Twitter 11 12 Show 5 more replies 4 Twitter 16 17 25 Jun 2018 14:40 Twitter Diplomacy is a choreographed dance but Trump turns friends into enemies – hardly accidentally, he needs enemies. The political equivalent of going bankrupt – but Canada, and then accuses Trudeau of being weak for refusing to be pushed around – in Trump world coherence is an unimportant detail. Report Yep. Rebranded communists now posing as your friendly Russians Report Show 3 more replies 25 Jun 2018 14:42 Report | Pick 25 Jun 2018 14:15 Report 12 13 Tintenfische Reply Share on Facebook I agree – that’s the perfect handshake. No limp-at-the-wrist dead haddock handshakes either please – horrid. A firm handshake, a friendly smile, no attempts at hugs and certainly no attempted kisses, particularly if you are meeting me for the first time and/or if it is a business meeting. Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Twitter Reply 14 15 IvanTiger | Pick Twitter Twitter | Pick 39 40 Report Facebook RonaltFrump Tintenfische 25 Jun 2018 16:46 Report 25 Jun 2018 17:26 26 27 Facebook | Pick plan B would be to engage in a full Aikido wrestling match (not much missing anyway) Twitter Facebook 21 22 Rhik Samadder Melania has been saying that for years. Report Share on Twitter Twitter 25 Jun 2018 14:20 25 Jun 2018 14:17 0 1 Reply Facebook Share on Facebook Share on Facebook Share Yohdur Twitter Share on Facebook Contact author Reply I’d not…hmm, better not finish that sentence. Suffice to say that I have more time for Trudeau than the Present Incumbent of the White House. 25 Jun 2018 14:04 Twitter Share TheHighRoad Twitter Reply Report 25 Jun 2018 16:09 Facebook captainbeefheart Actually, Trump seems to be doing a pretty good job so far. Reply ajkgordon Share on Facebook Stone Wall his delusions get ever more splendidly florid as days go by. Share on Twitter Facebook RonJB | Pick 22 23 Share Share Twitter Facebook Facebook 25 Jun 2018 15:07 dynamic22 Is that really worthy of the remains of what was once a great left wing newspaper that people were not embarrassed to be seen in public reading it? Reply Share on Facebook Report Facebook did the the left already run our of steam again? Going back to handshakes… Reply Report Reply FloridaAuthor Facebook | Pick 48 49 Share on Facebook Reply Report What will Trump do when he meets the Queen? Twitter Share on Twitter | Pick DNHig9 Wouldn’t it be brilliant if our Own Dear Queen did that on greeting him here in July?? We’d bring back Divine Right of Monarchy in a second!! | Pick Twitter 44 45 23 24 Share Share 1 Share on Facebook 5 6 5 Share on Twitter Twitter Share on Facebook 25 Jun 2018 14:53 Report Reply Share newest Facebook Share Share happylittledebunkera | Pick Share on Twitter I’d expect a wriggler from Trudeau. 25 Jun 2018 14:37 Reply 1 2 2 3 Share Reply Facebook Share on Twitter All Report Ginnychick Share on Facebook Share on Facebook Grab her by the pussy. Twitter 25 Jun 2018 13:50 Share Share on Twitter spillyourguts Share on Twitter Show 5 more replies Share on Facebook Reply UnashamedPedant Share on Twitter embersonfedders … we have a small favour to ask. The Guardian will engage with the most critical issues of our time – from the escalating climate catastrophe to widespread inequality to the influence of big tech on our lives. At a time when factual information is a necessity, we believe that each of us, around the world, deserves access to accurate reporting with integrity at its heart.More people are reading and supporting The Guardian’s independent, investigative journalism than ever before. And unlike many news organisations, we have chosen an approach that allows us to keep our journalism accessible to all, regardless of where they live or what they can afford. But we need your ongoing support to keep working as we do.Our editorial independence means we set our own agenda and voice our own opinions. Guardian journalism is free from commercial and political bias and not influenced by billionaire owners or shareholders. This means we can give a voice to those less heard, explore where others turn away, and rigorously challenge those in power.We need your support to keep delivering quality journalism, to maintain our openness and to protect our precious independence. Every reader contribution, big or small, is so valuable. Support The Guardian from as little as $1 – and it only takes a minute. Thank you. | Pick Share Share justanotherflyboy Share on Facebook Reply Report dynamic22 Reply Share on Facebook Report feelinglow Share on Twitter Report No doubt your diamond ring is a product of child labour. Thanks for sharing, though. 7 8 Reply Share on Twitter Comments 339 View more comments Share on Facebook Share Share Twitter Share Show 2 more replies “…as we frequently sniff our hands after shaking.” Facebook Loading comments… Trouble loading? 25 Jun 2018 14:48 ajkgordon ToffeeDan1 Reply feelinglow Trump Derangement Syndrome. Par excellence. | Pick | Pick 4 5 | Pick Stone Wall edwardcr | Pick Share on Twitter 25 Jun 2018 14:45 Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Facebook Show 1 more reply Facebook Carl123 Reply Share on Twitter RonJB Share on Facebook captainbeefheart The Americans have many inventive variants of the handshake derived from basketball and rap music, which is why their current president is confused and should stick to his customary thumbs up rather than have a hand wrestle.Otherwise, men in the Anglosphere should solve the problem of the contemporary male greeting by doing la bise of Paris – 4 dainty pecks to be distinctive – to draw us away from Anglo-hugging which one assumes is something gender-neutral and man-detoxifying derived from the New Liberalism. Facebook Share 2 3 Share Twitter Twitter Twitter Report You’ve just washed your hands but probably touched the door handle to leave the washroom or opened some other door (probably opened previously by someone who hasn’t washed their hand) so don’t worry. Pick up the cutlery, (probably put on the table by someone who hasn’t washed their hands) and enjoy a sociable meal in the company of others (who may or may not have washed their hands.) Or eat alone…covered in cling film. Twitter Share on Facebook Share 25 Jun 2018 17:41 Reply Share on Twitter Share Never sniffed after shaking hands! Dogs have aversion ofthough 25 Jun 2018 15:35 dynamic22 Reply Share | Pick Facebook 3 4 13 14 Reply 25 Jun 2018 14:25 Report PandiBear 3 4 Facebook 149222 3 4 Report Carl123 Ginnychick Show 1 more reply 9 10 Twitter Share on Facebook Share on Facebook Men who think a firm handshake is a good thing should consider women. I have had my hand unnecessarily crushed too often (including diamond ring between fingers – ouch!) by them thinking they are being manly. Report 3 4 Reply Lots of people I’ve met play games with handshakes [only men though, on my experience]: the knuckle-crusher ~ what are they trying to prove? If you’re trying to show off ‘strength’ by so doing, you’ve got problems. Reply Reply Share on Facebook Just a gentle reminder, Don’t want you scrubbing those hands unnecessarily, Lady Macbeth. Twitter Share 25 Jun 2018 18:30 | Pick 25 Jun 2018 15:12 Facebook 3 4 Share | Pick Report Facebook Ginnychick Share Facebook Reply | Pick | Pick Marvellous example of ‘what you say is what you are’. Haven’t seen that one since 3rd grade. I always thought that when Trump extends his hand out like that – anyone should give him a 5 and be done with it. It would be funny to see his attempt to grasp with those teeny tiny little digits. 16 17 Twitter Share on Facebook Kaikoura 6 7 25 Jun 2018 14:40 25 Jun 2018 14:38 Share on Facebook 25 Jun 2018 15:36 Reply RonJB Share on Facebook Facebook I breath, do I need to check I am not breathing like him? Share Report Facebook Facebook 25 Jun 2018 14:27 95 96 Share on Facebook Reply 25 Jun 2018 13:36 Facebook 15 16 Reply 23 24 Share on Twitter 25 Jun 2018 15:52 Donald Trump 21794h Share on Facebook Twitter Your advice works with ‘hand’ excised too. Kaikoura Facebook | Pick 16 17 Report Reply Reply Report Share April Bennett Facebook 11 12 Reply Reply Share on Twitter 2 Share on Pinterest 25 Jun 2018 13:55 Close report comment form Share on Facebook | Pick 100 Share stopcomplaining Share on Twitter HairyShinPads Facebook Share on Twitter Facebook | Pick Twitter | Pick Twitter Share on Facebook Report 5 6 25 Jun 2018 14:51 Share on Twitter 25 Jun 2018 16:08 9 10 Share Report Share on Twitter Share on Twitter Twitter 15 16 edwardcr 25 Jun 2018 14:56 | Pick Reply Report Reply Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Reply recommendations Report That’s what I was thinking. I never smell my hands as I know they always smell. Share I would be inclined to grab him by the balls, and see what his reaction would be! Share 25 Jun 2018 14:48 Facebook Twitter One makes the assumption that he still has any….. Share 25 Jun 2018 15:10 Reply Facebook Twitter | Pick I always chuckle when someone bothers to post on a Guardian web site that the Guardian is too — something (pick the cause of the day) — to bother to read. And yet here they are … Report 14 15 Advice: bring latex gloves when you shake this oozing pustule’s hand…! Facebook Twitter The Mark Latham method has pulling power. Share Share on Facebook | Pick Share 58 59 20 21 Share on Twitter Topics Share on Twitter 25 Jun 2018 17:42 20 21 25 Jun 2018 15:48 The latest research suggests handshaking is a way to assess sexual compatibility and competition, as we frequently sniff our hands after shaking. Who the hell does that? 25 Jun 2018 14:35 25 Jun 2018 15:43 Jesus. Do you read what you post? engagebrain That is certainly speaking truth to power, can’t wait to try it out the local progressive types and see what happens? What could possibly go wrong? 50 Carl123 Now the child-catcher in chief is turning it into a weapon. Share Report Share on Facebook Share on Facebook Share Twitter | Pick Share on Twitter Sign in or create your Guardian account to recommend a comment Reply Reply ID3982530 Facebook 14 15 rumblestrips Report 25 Jun 2018 17:38 | Pick Share yellowsnow | Pick Share on Twitter Report | Pick Share on Facebook 25 Jun 2018 15:41 Share on Facebook RonJB Share on Twitter Twitter Facebook | Pick Share on Facebook Trumpingham Palace He is unpredictable, too – shaking with Japan’s Shinzō Abe for 19 hideous seconds, but refusing Angela Merkel’s offer entirely. 22 23 armitage32 Twitter Buscar01 Share on Twitter | Pick Reply Share on Facebook | Pick Share on Facebook Life and style Twitter Life and style Would require a very firm grip to stop them slipping out. Twitter armitage32 25 Jun 2018 16:40 Facebook Share Report Facebook Reply Share on Facebook Twitter Twitter Share Share on Twitter RonaltFrump Child snatcher in chief more like it. Share on Twitter Reuse this content,View all comments > Mon 25 Jun 2018 01.30 EDT Reply Report Share on Facebook | Pick Report GibsonL5 Share on Twitter Report Reply Report Reply Share on Twitter Twitter Twitter Share on Facebook Share on Facebook Share on Twitter 25 Jun 2018 15:37 Report Huh? The only reference to “left” I could find was “For photographs, stand on the left”. Reply | Pick Share on Facebook Twitter Facebook Reply Share Share Report Share on Twitter Share on Twitter | Pick | Pick Facebook Twitter Sapdahdoctor 3 4 Share TheHighRoad Facebook yellowsnow Twitter 27 28 Facebook Share Report justanotherflyboy rumblestrips | Pick Facebook Oh come on. So is the device you typed that snarky comment with. Share Twitter | Pick Twitter Reply happylittledebunkera | Pick Report 41 42 yellowsnow Share on Twitter 40 41 Share 6 7 Show 2 more replies ID3982530 Share on Facebook | Pick spillyourguts Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Famous misogynists prefer pussy-grabbing. Reply Order by oldest | Pick Facebook Share 25 Jun 2018 15:20 Share on Messenger Share on Twitter 10 11 3 125 126 25 Jun 2018 14:59 Share LeemyPleems Share on Facebook 25 Jun 2018 14:50 Share Report 25 Jun 2018 15:46 Share Share on Twitter Show 5 more replies Share on Twitter Facebook | Pick 25 Jun 2018 14:46 GalahadThreepwood Show 25 Report Reply Twitter Reply Share on Facebook 4 5 Share on Twitter 3 4 | Pick DNHig9 Report Share on Twitter Or men just have stronger hands and aren’t used to shaking with women and children 149222 Share on Facebook Share Share on Facebook | Pick Share on Facebook Share on Twitter A warm grip, around the throat. | Pick Facebook | Pick 25 Jun 2018 15:32 Share on Facebook Report Reply Share on Facebook Share on Facebook 25 Jun 2018 13:51 Share on Facebook Share Reply Share on Twitter OhIAmSuchASadGit Damn those friendly bozos and their damnable courtesy! HistoryHacker 12 13 captainbeefheart Report Share on Facebook Share on Twitter 9 10 | Pick Reply Reason (optional) Report 21 22 ToffeeDan1 Oh boy, did the the left…(etc) As soon as I read “the left” or “the right”, I know that the commenter has nothing of value to offer. Share on Twitter Share on Facebook 2 3 Share on Facebook Facebook Share on Twitter First, no.Second, shaking what? 25 Jun 2018 16:09 25 Jun 2018 16:06 Sapdahdoctorlast_img read more